The ‘R’ word- Relationship tips

Aww isn’t that such a cute photo! Meet my favourite couple, Jess and Aaron and 🐶 Daisy. The met, dated, fell in love, lived together, got engaged, soon to be married. Happy beginnings.

Unlike these guys, if my life can be summed up in one sentence this is what it’ll be : “Well, That didn’t fucking go as planned“. 😂 

I may not be a relationship or dating expert (yet), but you can safely assume that someone who gives you free relationship advice must have had their fair share of some real shitty ones themselves. So read on if you want to learn from their mistakes and save yourself some trouble and time. Believe me, I am still stuffing it up, but learning quickly. Practice makes man perfect. 😉

Here are some tips that you can use to save yourself a wrong match. If you are single and looking for a new relationship, this could be for you. Focus is on single women, although all are welcome. 

1. Best place to start is friendship

If you cant be best friends with your (future) spouse/ partner, well…. hey, do I need to say any more? It’s not going to work. You can’t share everything with someone who wears the spouse tag all the time and forgets to be a friend. If it doesn’t work out, well, you would have still earned a friend. 😊 Win-win. 

2. Don’t play hard-to-get

You get a text and you decide not to answer it immediately.  You want to play hard to get even though in reality you were sitting by that darn phone all day for a text alert from him. Instead of playing the ‘game’, be real busy in a real way.  That’s the kind that makes him value your self-worth. It signals to them that you are pretty content with your own life, with or without a partner and you’re pretty happy on your own. That’s so attractive, don’t you think?

3. Never start from a place of need. 

This is the most unhealthy place to begin a relationship. The foundation is all wrong. If you come across as needy and clingy your potential partner is probably already looking away and running for the hills 🏃 If you find yourself drop everything to answer a text, or you’re cancelling your scheduled appointments to accomodate the last minute date, it’s probably time to re-assess your life. Are there underlying emotional issues you need to deal with before getting involved. Get help if needed, improve your quality of your life. Start clean, is my advice. 

4. Pace it.  

The slower you go the faster you get there. Don’t rush. This will weed out the right from the wrong. Experts suggest to keep the pants on and legs closed for a good 3-5 months. Those not willing to stick around for that long were probably with you for the wrong reasons. 

5. Being kind is the sexiest thing. 

When you meet him, come from a place of compassion. This means you are not sitting there judging your date. What you do instead is observe. There is a difference. Judging means you conclude too quickly. Wrong assumptions equals missed opportunities. Observing, on the other hand, is simply paying attention to what you see or hear. You will reach a conclusion at some point from all the observations you make, but at least it will be backed my reasonable reasons. 

Don’t throw yourself away just to have or keep someone in your life. When you do that, you stop being you. It is probably THE biggest mistake one can make to start with. It feels miserable, worthless, draining. You don’t need that. You want the one who loves the craziness that defines you. Again, aren’t we all? Crazy. Some more than the other.

Personally, my biggest turn on is ‘Respect’. If I cannot respect the person, I cannot be interested. And respect comes from various places- their wisdom, their etiquette, how they treat other beings, shows self-control and substance.

What’s your biggest turn on? I’d love for you to leave comments below. (Note: Inappropriate comments will be deleted) 

May you find your kind of crazy and may you both live one helluva life…together!

xox

Som